Salaam alaykum warahmatullah,
I grew up in a Yoruba house where you basically shout everything – good or bad, happy or sad – this tunes your voice box to emit very high decibels even as you mature. Some people are lucky and their homes were like finishing schools – prim and proper; napkin folding, no shouting kinda home.
Now as an adult Muslim woman rediscovering herself, I realise I have to maintain a certain outlook that suits my new look. Omo! Ko easy! Me that I can shout for Africa 🙈 However, with time I’m coming to understand the need for that prim and proper behaviour – you actually command more respect. Try it. I dare you 😬. Speak in lower tones, talk less, only talk when necessary and weigh what you say before you say it. Has anyone noticed how nice and calm Hausa girls are? Truth is it doesn’t necessarily mean they are quiet; but they have the outlook of being calm, respectable and approachable; all virtues of a good Muslimah.
Another thing I’ve started doing is that anger management technique of counting to 10 before reacting to a provocation. It really helps. See here for anger management tips.
May Allah guide our thoughts and ease our journey towards Him. Amin
Barakallahu lee wa lakum
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ